The Prayer
by ForHereYouAre
Summary: A raw rough draft, disconnected series of thoughts about what occurred after Maria left for the Abbey, how Georg feels powerless in a moment alone, turning to a higher power for guidance himself...
1. Chapter 1

Through his pain he'd learned to depend only on himself and his own discipline. What God would take the mother of 7 children? what God would create each of those 7 faces to remind him of the wife, the beautiful soul who he'd been robbed of the chance of growing old with. What God would tear from him the first love of his life, and What God would guide him to a woman, a woman who would melt the ice of his heart, who would awaken every sense that had died with Agathe. What God would send him a woman who would reawaken his deepest longings, who would shatter walls he'd placed to protect him from music, who would cause him to feel passionate love again, who would become...a nun. Her return to the abbey all but sealed her fate, and his as well.

Georg wiped a hot tear from below his eye. "God damn it". In a place between anger and despair, he'd proposed to The baroness. Hoping against hope that she would fill the void left by Maria. A void he'd not felt since walking away from agathe's grave 4 years prior. A void that threatened to tear from him the return of music, laughter and life itself. "GOD DAMNIT why did I do this? God why?"

As the words escaped his lips, Georg drew a sharp breath, trying desperately to fight off sobs that were threatening to overtake him. Sobs he'd sworn he would never cry again. He was too strong, too brave to cry. He was an honorable man, a man who'd seen the hell of war, who'd been decorated by the emperor and not she'd a tear. A man who was now losing control of his emotions. As the darkness of grief threatened to consume him back into the days before the summer began, Georg hit the ground. His hand placed on the marble floor to steady himself as his he felt it's coldness beneath his knees. He raised up slightly, his eyes now filled with tears that he could no longer hold back. There in the night, regret flooded into his heart. "God Help Me"

So it began, Georg grasped his hands together hard, his knuckles white, his body rigid with anger, his heart limp with surrender

"God I am Sorry, he prayed in graveled whisper, "you sent to me an Angel, You sent Maria to my home, my family and my care. You sent me her heart, her kindness, her music. Why didn't I see it? Why couldn't I stand up and admit what I am? A Coward. Christ I am a coward. On any battlefield I could have stood firm, Oh Christ help me, I've lost her. I've spited myself, my family, my world" Hot tears spilled over Georg's praying lips, hissing his words between muffled sobs, his breath ragged, he hadn't cried like this since entering an empty bed the first night after his wife died. His thoughts drifted to Maria, surely she was herself in evening prayers, perhaps sleeping. Did she think of him? Did she dream of him? Did she mention him in her most sacred moments?

The usually Stoic Captain resisted the urge to beg God for a miracle, for Him to somehow "get her back". Instead he simply bowed his chin closer to his chest, imagining the scent of her body from the dance they'd shared earlier that week, Gerog merely whispered "God I don't deserve her, I never did. I beg you Lord, watch over Maria, protect her, don't harden her heart, don't bring her the pain I've endured. Wrap your loving arms around her, bring sweet slumber to her, may the angels serenade her dreams as she now haunts mine" with a firm motion he wiped the tears from his face, swooping down his cuff to remove the wetness from his mouth. The heat of his anger and shame rose up to his neck and cheeks.

"I'm sorry Lord, I failed to treasure the miracle you sent me, and now, now Christ I don't know what I'm going to do"

Something had changed at that moment. He wasn't sure what but a peace flowed through him. Perhaps it was an answered prayer, perhaps a heavenly blessing from Agathe, perhaps it was the feeling of being at his very lowest. But at that moment his soul was still. As he straightened his back, still on his knees, he peered out his study window. He again thought of Maria, the blackness and silence of night enveloped him, "the night" he sighed with a bittersweet laugh, "it's all that connects us now Maria, it's all that holds us together" as if she could hear his whispers.

The feeling of inexplicable peace still filled him, the baroness, max, even the children were far from his mind. It was only Maria that filled his mind and heart at that moment. "Oh if I could be the night and hold you while you sleep".

Finally willing himself to stand. He looked towards the mountains. There was trust that he would see her again, though unsure how or when. He resolved in his heart that when he saw her again she would know he loved her.


	2. Chapter 2 In the light of day

Chapter 2

(A little draggy and a first draft)

An ungrateful wretch", he mumbled softly to himself, resisting the urge to pound his fist against the table.

This day had begun as every other, since Maria had left. The sun rose, the baroness plastered a well practiced smile, almost sinister in its wideness, across a sophisticated face adorned with the finest cosmetics. She sat down, using all her will power to keep from scowling at the children. She nodded quietly to the 7 roadblocks in her path, who were sitting emotionless across the table. The tears had all been cried when Maria left. The morning their father announced that they would have a new mother, there were no more tears left to cry. The children simply felt a pain that left them hollow. Having Elsa as a mother was the same as having no mother at all. The laughter, the music, the love was gone. Remaining now were hollow souls going through the motions of each day. "Father, May we be excused?" Liesl asked wearily, her eyes not lifting from the plate of hardly touched food.

Nodding his permission, Georg surveyed the ruins of his life as the children filed quietly away and across the grounds. Elsa rose from the table, speaking incessantly at, not to, anyone in particular. Max nodded at her ramblings about the latest social gossip and scandals, not listening fully, he looked over to his friend, noticing his that Georg's face was unusually red, his eyes still swollen from the night before, Max sensed Georg could use a moment away from the incessant bragging that was flowing from the baroness.

"Elsa, what wine would you say goes well with this, um, lemonade, a Rose?" Max quipped as he guided her arm to walk with him into the villa, "oh you beast!" She retorted with a smug grin.

Georg sighed in gratitude. What was he going to do? Staring at the gentle ripples in the water, he could see Maria's eyes as she gently gazed at him while singing Edelweiss, the suns reflection upon the lake brought to mind her golden hair, slicked wet as he apologized to her at the bottom of the staircase. He knew at that moment he was past the point of ever being able to live without her. Now he feared it was all too far gone. Why didn't he run to her that very night, to hell with the party, to hell with the pompous gala, the people he hardly cared for, he should have been on his way to the abbey as soon as he pulled that note from the envelope. Instead he let a wave of anger wash over him, and in despair proposed to Elsa.

"Goddamn ungrateful wretch indeed!" Gerog yelled at himself through gritted teeth. For hours he walked aimlessly. The sun offered no light or warmth to him. His heart was hovering in a place he never wanted it to return to. Maria had saved him. He wandered into the foyer and stood still. Elsa was no savior. She was a distraction. Charming, witty, fake, disinterested in his children, unconcerned with his comfort, reveling in being first, content only when in the spotlight. Maria in contrast rejoiced in helping the children grow, in finding their talents and happiness. She glowed when connections were made, when Georg sang once more, always concerned with what brought joy. Music, loyalty, confidence. She'd reconciled him with his existence. Elsa had not brought some meaning into his life, She'd brought him into her life, a high ranking party guest, a social equal. She'd shown no concern when Maria left. Oh Maria, sweet Maria, SHE was the meaning in his life. She was his life. He couldn't go on like this.

In the distance the sound of excited voices snapped him out of his fog. Could that be the children? My God they hasn't squealed in joy for days, was that laughter? The commotion caused his heart to regain some hope. He slowly made his way out to the terrace.

An angelic vision stood before him. It couldn't be. Surrounded by his children, in a sea green dress, was Maria. Oh he wanted to run to her, squeeze her in a passionate embrace and beg her forgiveness. He stopped at the top of the stairs. Her eyes were large and holding back tears. They lacked joy. Something had hurt her. His beloved stood before him with a look of shock and pain.

"Good evening Captain" Maria said meekly.

"Good evening" he replied.

His very core was shaken. A prayer was answered, but the woman who returned to him was broken, forlorn and shattered. What could have happened to this innocent girl? She didn't deserve any more pain than he'd already caused her.

He felt the icy grip of Elsa hand in his, causing him to jump in surprise. She slithered next to him, ensuring Maria would not dare to approach him. Gerog shuddered inside.

"May I wish you every happiness, the children tell me you're to be married"

His heart sunk into his chest heavily. That look in her eyes, it was of Love, a love that he'd callously failed to acknowledge, arrogantly taken for granted. She loved him! Hearing the news of his engagement broke her. Knowing that fact suddenly tore all that was sacred from him. He swallowed back tears as she composed herself long enough to retreat into the house.

"ungrateful wretch" he thought to himself. "I am an ungrateful wretch. This ends tonight. I cannot go on with this charade" he forced a smile in Elsa's direction as he patted her hand in an empty gesture. "Before Maria leaves again, before she goes on to someone deserving of the gift she is, I at least want her to know that she is loved, that she saved my life"

And with that, Georg walked towards the sound of his children, delightfully rejoicing at Maria's return.

"God Help me" he whispered


	3. Chapter 3 The Confession

It was over. It wasn't easy or poetic, but Georg had broken off the engagement with Elsa. With bruised pride, she had no choice but to accept what she knew was the inevitable. She was off to Vienna where she belonged. As the children slept with lighter hearts this evening, Georg wandered through the grounds to find who he'd longed for most. She'd put on a brave face for the children as Elsa dramatically fawned over him, feigning relief that the governess has returned. He knew too well how it felt to be scrutinized by Elsa, and his already broken heart was further bruised knowing that Maria had to be subjected to it. He'd resigned himself to the fact that Maria would be leaving, but he owed her the truth before she did.

In the distance he saw her, sitting pitifully on the concrete bench beside the gazebo. He felt her heartache from where he stood. Her eyes were cast downward, surely she'd shut him out. How could be blame her? In the dim light of the evening he approached her.

"Hello" he abruptly said, piercing the silence of the moment with his words "I, I'd like a word with you, Frauline. May I?"

Maria nodded and moved over slightly, Georg was pained by her frightened expression. With how callous he'd been to her, he felt he should have expected it. As the evening darkened further he sat a few feet from Maria, studying every inch of her face, it's beauty and youth. Soaking in the sight of her while he still had a chance.

"I was hoping that perhaps you'd reconsider leaving. Our family, it, it just isn't the same without you, our world seems so wrong when you're gone" he waved a hand in frustration as he spoke.

Maria stared down at the hem of her dress, the very one she'd worn when the Captain danced with her so lovingly the night of the gala.

"Well I'm sure the Baroness will make things fine for you" she quipped, shocking herself at her boldness.

"Maria, there isn't going to be any baroness. We've called off our engagement", he spoke with a small bit of hope that it would elicit a cry of joy from the young lady beside him. But It didn't, at least not outwardly.

"Oh I'm Sorry" Maria replied, managing to keep her voice composed while her mind was boggled by that news.

At that moment Georg lost the remaining hope he'd harbored.

"I've a confession to make to you", he said quite suddenly, no longer attempting to keep up the facade of a stoic aristocrat. He was simply a man in torment, and his words began to flow in angst...

"I abandoned them. My Children. That's what I did. I couldn't command the pain to cease, I couldn't order the grief away. I couldn't look into their faces without seeing reflections of what had been taken from me. Like a coward I retreated. I left them. What's worse is that Elsa knew it and accepted it from me. Expected it of me. What person with any love in her heart would encourage a man to leave his children as often as I would? Not questioning that decision for their sake? I allowed it. To escape my pain I allowed myself to be wrapped into that world at the expense of 7 innocent children who needed and deserved so much more. A Brave man indeed..."

His voice quivered with regret "I only hope, God I only hope my damned selfishness hasn't damaged them beyond all repair"

Maria felt a lump within her throat. Listening intently as this heroic figure let his guard crumble before her eyes, his soul naked to her, vulnerable as he'd ever been.

"Sir, I know they love you more than you know. All they ever wished was to be close to you. You've begun to mend that rift..."

"My dear Maria", he spoke gently "You mended the rift, you came from God as a gift and with all the love I'd failed to show them since their mother died, you steered them into safe waters, I merely took the wheel".

Maria was silent her heart filled equally with pain and love. Something she'd not experienced until laying eyes upon Georg for the first time, now it was a constant ache within her.

"You were right about everything, you always were" he looked down at the grass below them, fiddling his fingers nervously, "You always are."

"Captain, I only want the best for you, and for these dear children. The first night I arrived I prayed for guidance, I believed God had sent me to prepare the children for a new mother, and to make you a happy family in His sight"

Georg swallowed hard, and looked Maria in the eyes "He did send you to prepare them for a new mother. I was too blinded by grief to see it, He indeed sent the happiness, the love that should have bound and completed this family. It was you, you were the answer to every prayer I surrendered to God in my darkest moments, you are the answer to everything I begged The Lord for most...and now I've lost you"

"captai..." Maria began

His eyes welling with tears, Georg gently grasped her hand and said "I don't have any title here with you, you don't answer to me, what an arrogant thing to have demanded of you" his voice cracking as he held back an urge to cry "It's Georg. In fact I wish you'd call me something worse, heaven knows I deserve it"

"Sir, ah, um, Georg, you haven't lost anything. Those children in that house will wake up loving you just as much if not more so than the day before,"

"But you, Maria. That's what I fear I've lost the most" in a strong, deep voice with every ounce of courage he could muster, Georg steadied himself, tears streaming down his face, said fiercely "I love you"

Was this happening? Could this be? Surely she was dreaming, perhaps she'd fallen asleep during the nightmare of this day and was being tormented by a bittersweet dream.

As Maria's mind swirled in a million different directions Georg huffed back a sob, "And when you leave I shall love no other. I know it. I never thought I could love again, and when my heart was returned to me in the form of your youthful, brave, rebellious spirit, I was too proud to Thank God for that gift. I would rather be alone than be without true love. I couldn't go on another moment without telling you. You didn't deserve what I've done to you, and I certainly don't deserve the elation I have felt in your presence, I don't want you to leave. But, Christ, I don't deserve you"

With trembling hands Maria reached forward, placing her delicate fingers upon his chest she could feel his heart quicken through his layers of starched clothes. She stood in silence for a moment, bewildered at all that had taken place, the pain in her heart was now being pushed aside. All that remained was love. The night air held them both steady. She felt peace, a strange inexplicable peace.

"Georg, if you only knew how I prayed you'd share my love"

A heavy tear fell from his steely blue eyes

"What was that?" He asked, had he heard her correctly?

"Georg I love you, Your wonderful heart was the reason I returned. I came back to fulfill my obligation yes, but before I was informed that you were to be married, I had finally gathered the confidence to tell you, she stammered breaking into tears "to tell you how I loved you so"

Georg gripped her hands within his, then sliding his hands gently but slowly down each arm towards her back, he pulled her into a tight embrace. Her tearful face pressed against his jacket, as he held her close in his arms, he pressed a kiss onto her golden hair. She smelled of rose petals, her skin felt like silk beneath his strong hands. His senses were resurrected. The air around him felt warm and sweet, his heart pounded madly as he wiped a tear from her sweet face. Her body shaking with a fit of crying she could no longer hold back.

Taking her chin into one hand, he lifted her face close, leaning in he captured Maria's lips with his own, the taste of her mouth on his, the feel of the hot tears that had ran over both of their lips reawakened him. He felt emancipated from the darkness that had claimed him. He was alive. Passionately he deepened their kiss, and Maria leaned in to reciprocate. Their lips parted to take a needed gasp of air. Maria looked up into the eyes of her lover, the moonlight reflected in them.

The very sight of his handsome face staring at her, still damp with his tears sent shivers down her spine. She held her hands behind his neck. With a giggle she said "Are you still sure you don't want me to leave?"

"More than you know" he whispered as he claimed another kiss from his beloved.

As their bodies remained locked in a passionate embrace, Georg silently Thanked God for what was truly a miracle in his arms. He was finally complete.


End file.
